Alphabet Soup

Do you ever stop and think about how you used to see the world when you were younger. Today I was taking my final and as I was looking at the letters to the options on the scan-tron, I started to think about what I remembered the letters as before I even knew what they really meant. In preschool they had one of those large banners along the wall that had every letter both capitalized and in lower case right next to each other. As I looked at those letters everyday, four in particular started to attract my attention, the letters Bb and Dd. For some reason I always felt sorry for the big and small letter 'D' because they always seemed (to my for year old year old brain) like they were father and son fighting over something, and both of the letter 'B's' seemed to be working so well together. It would mildly depress me to the point that I would even come up with reasons for why the 'D's' were having so many problems. So sad. Now whenever I look at one of those letter strips, I see what I saw then first, but then I see it as the 'B's' that are having the real problem. The 'D's' are the ones who are looking each other in the eye and hugging each other, while the 'B's' on the other hand, are just going single file with no sign of caring one way or the other. I like how I see it now better then how I saw the letters then. I can finally eat alphabet soup without wondering about who made who mad, if that makes any rational sense at all. (Lol)

Christmas Cards

I love Christmas Cards. I love to get them, send them, read them, look at them, I just love them. Some are pretty. Others are thoughtful and well written. When one recieves a Christmas card it says that someone else has thought of you. It means that you have managed to touch someone elses life in someway, for better or for worse. A Christmas card can say a lot for such a small thing. It can bring well wishes for the new year, blessings for you and yours, or just simply say that one is hoping you have a very merry day. Everyone should get at least one Christmas card a year.

Moving

So there is this girl in one of my classes and she and I have been in the same grade together since at least middle schools and her family has decided to move to Texas over the Christmas holiday. One of her parents has a better job opportunity down there so the Friday of finals is her last day. I started to think about how much that would suck once I heard about it, you live you one place, grow up with the same people all your life, and then one day, it means nothing. In away I guess you could look at it as a 'good opportunity', but the way I look at is that she doesn't even get to graduate with the people she has been with since kindergarten. I think that the big move should be saved until after high school, for when she decides where she wants to move to for school. But I guess life doesn't always work like that, and that fact sucks.

I Beg To Differ

So I woke up this morning and had a great idea for a blog, of course I didn't have anything to write it down with so I just tried to remember it, which didn't work. I remembered it had something to do with one of those old cliches, so I decided that I Goggle some of them and see if I could find one that would jog my memory. Well I didn't find it, but here are some that I did find:

1. Make my day
2. Gift horse in the mouth
3. Hard to believe
4. Johnny come lately
5. Plenty of fish in the sea
6. Snug as a bug
7. Till the fat lady sings
8. You are what you eat
9. The lights are on but nobody is home
10. Justice is blind

Birthday!!!

So today is my birthday, I am now 17 years old. It is sort of weird in a way, I mean it wasn't that long ago that I can remember having a birthday party for year 7. I'm pretty sure that that was the only year that I really had an all out 'birthday party', my family just was never in to all that stuff. If you ask me its better that way, to celebrate an occasion with just the people you are closest to. It helps to put everything else into perspective.

Who You Know Best

Have you ever thought about how many people you come in contact with on a daily basis? From the ones you live with to people you pass in the hall everyday, we each have countless people that we influence. If one day we lost a second or third level best friend we would deffinently be hurt and upset immedatly, but what if we lost someone that we just happen to see every once in a while. Like the guy we pass on our way to work, or the guy who is always getting a cup of coffee when you go into the lounge, or that woman you see walking early every morrning? When these people change jobs, move, or pass away we really have no reason to be upset, yet more times then not we are. Maybe its because its only at this point that we realize the lost oppertunity that we never made time for, the oppertunity to get to know someone who you could always set you watch by.

CHELSEA!!!!

So there we are walking in to MORP (Prom spelled backwards), and I see my bestfriend Chelsea walking in just a few feet infront of us. We have this thing where we scream eachother's names in a very high, very loud pitch whenever we see eachother outside of the acutal schoolday. Well I scream her name and expect a cry in return, instead this girl that doens't even go to Apollo turns around and looks at me like I am completely and utterly nuts. The first thing I said was, "Chelsea is going to laugh so hard when I tell her this!"

Belief

Belief,
Something that is held high in ourselves.


Belief,
Something that makes us different from others.


Belief,
Something that brings us peace.


Belief,
Something that brings us pain.


Belief,
Something that grows pride.


Belief,
Something that stifles growth.


Belief,
Something that is water to the soul.


Belief,
Something that can bring drought to the heart.

Belief,
Something that teaches.


Belief,
Something that comes from lessons.


Belief,
Somthing that makes us feel better about our mistakes.


When I was younger I believed that nothing could hurt the day but the rain, as I grew I learned to appreciate that simple joy of a childhood ignorance.

“If you don’t stop, I’m gonna ripe you a new one!”

So how many times have you just been so irritated by someone to the point where you just want to hit them? It’s the most annoying when whatever the other person is doing is a typical thing that they always do and it just happens to be a really crappy day. It’s on those days that one poke, no matter how small, can just push you over the edge. On those days you just have to hope that the one who makes that fatal mistake is someone who will step back and give you the look that says, “OK, you’re nuts,” and then busts out laughing.

Just Get Over It Already!

So how many times do you hear people complain about something that they don't like or wish that they didn't have to do. Its like they think that complaining about it is going to change the fact that it has to be done. For example, people at work complain about the other people that we work with. I can understand where they might have a problem with people being slow, or not finishing their work in a timely manner, but that's not going to change the fact that it needs to be done. After a certain point in time one might as well just find the time to do whatever it is on their own. When something is making you made you have two options the way I see it, you can either do something to change it, or you can get over it and work to adapt yourself to the change.

This I Believe....

1. I believe that most people are basically good.
2. I believe that people never change, they just become more of who they were already.
3. I believe in laughing until you cry.
4. I believe that people would like to think that they can truly forgive someone else.
5. I believe that summertime is for being outside.
6. I believe in GREAT friends.
7. I believe that family should come before all others.
8. I believe that there will never be a good enough reason to give up on life.
9. I believe that there is nothing more honest then a child's laughter.
10. I believe that people are scared of change.

Baby Names

Over Thanksgiving break, the whole family found out that my cousin is pregnet. She had been married for at least five years. When she told my Grandmother, she did it in a way that was surprizing to her. She walked in the house and handed her a sheet of paper in side a protective sheet. She told her that she had some pictures to show her. Grandma, thinking that they where of her house or of her dogs, didn't think twice about looking at them. There was a moment's pause. Then she broke out screaming and crying.

Sunshine Warm

The one thing that I can't stand about winter is how cold it gets. I could deal with the snow and the ice if it just wasn't so chilly. The wind makes it even worse. Who wants to get up and start the day by rolling out of bed and putting their feet on an ice cold hard wood floor. It just isn't the most wonderful thing in the world to have to deal with. I'd rather be in the warm sunshine of spring and summer any day.

Childhood Toys

During the Holidays, when I am out shopping for all my younger relatives and cousins, I always seem to find myself wanting to keep the toy I am buying for them myself. I mean really, when you think about the difference between our generation's toys and this one's, its unreal. I know we had toys that talked, but they said maybe two words and we were happy with that. The main gifts for girls was Barbies, and now boys and girls all have the same types of toys, Leapfrog learning centers. Ugghhh!

Thanksgiving

One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is seeing everybody come together. This time of year is really one of the few times that my entire family comes together. I love the fact that it is loud and crowded and everyone is constantly moving from the living room peace, to the kitchen mayhem, to the cool of the back patio. I love seeing all my little cousins, nieces, and nephews run around and chase after all the dogs. It is a wonderful craziness that is always a great time, and that is why it is one of my favorite times of the year.

What Would You Give Up????

Keven and I were on their way home from graduation when Keven exhaled heavily. He began talking about how he wasn't going to be able to leave for Chicago next week like he had planned. Something had happened with his mother and father and they ended up needing the money he had saved up to pay the water bill.

He had saved up that money for more then six months. It had been his dream to get out of this town and leave it all behind. He was tired of the drama, the sacrifices that came with living here, and now the only shot he had was gone, I couldn't help but want to cry for him. All that I knew to say was that we'll figure something out, even though I had no clue how it could possibly ever work out.

The next day I was packing up some of the stuff in my room for my big move in the fall. I happened to come across a broach that my grandmother had given me a few years earlier. It was a beautiful piece, belonged to her mother once upon a time in fact. All gold with large dark sapphire stones inlaid. As I did every time I came across it, I put it on. It was then that I realized that it had done all it could for me, and that it was time to do for another what I wished he could do for me.

My Favorite Quotes

Here are some of my favorite quotes that I heard, read, or found over the years:



1. "Not every moment is a Kodak Moment!"- Arron Daviess


2. Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say “storms suck!” –Johnny Carson


3. Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.- Thomas Fuller


4. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.- E. L. Doctorow


5. "Tears don't work on him, show some chest"- Katie M.


6. Happiness is anyone and anything that's loved by you.- Charlie Brown


7. I said I was the greatest, not the smartest- Muhammad Ali


8. To be trusted is a greater complement then to be loved.-George Macdonald


9. Make yourself nessisary to somebody. -Ralp Waldo Emerson

The Ocean Bird

The ocean bird soars

The ocean bird flies

The ocean bird sings

The ocean bird cares not

The ocean bird sees all

The ocean bird knows many

The ocean bird dreams

The ocean bird wishes

The ocean bird loves

The ocean bird is not a mere turkey

The ocean bird flows with the sea

The ocean bird is always there

The ocean bird lives for itself

The ocean bird travels far and near

The ocean bird speaks to Me

AZECHIDJPQ

Apples are lots of different colors, red, green, yellow, and many others. Zebras on the other hand are only the basic black and white no matter who they are. Each zebra still manages to look different from the rest of the herd though, their stripes, dots, and patters all different from another. Considering this, it's funny to see how individuality some how always seems to make itself know to the world. High school students are, for the most part, much more able to show their differences from the herd then others. In the few instances where they are made to look the same, their personalities still show through by means of their friends, pass times, and humor. Don't take this fact for granted, because if we were all the same then we would never have some of the amazing modern day conveniences that we have today. Jocks, nerds, and everyone all have something great to contribute to the whole. Principally my main point of this blog is to show that differences are every where and we should embrace them. Queen-B's are everywhere, just waiting to show themselves.

Here's The Funny Thing....

So everyone sits back every once in a while and reminisces about the past at least in a while. Well I was doing that a few weeks ago with a couple of friends and we all ended up laughing to the point were we didn't even need to tell the entire story, we could just tell a few words and we would be rolling.
So here are a few of those moments, on some of them I'm not going to go into detail, because no matter how much I tried to explain, you would never get it.

1. Getting off the bus when the sub misjudged the the driveway be ten feet; Margie ended up in the stack of leaves we had racked into the ditch that passed weekend.

2. Chelsea staying with us during the ice storm, or anytime she stays with us. Crash, "What happened?" "Nothin', come help me clean it up! Hahaha"

3. Margie walking backwards barefoot after I had told her there was a snake on the ground next to her, she didn't believe me, and then ending up on top of my head, literally. This was the second snake that day.

4. Walking down the road barefoot and pregnent with watermellons! Ha!

5. Watching peoples' faces when I tell them that Chelsea through me down the stairs.

Would You Change Anything??

I don't know if I would change any day that I have experienced up until this point. I say this because when you think about it everything that a person goes through makes them who they are today. I've done things that I look back and, maybe not regret, but wonder what I was thinking. But those kind of moments are the moments that I love to have. Each day one meets new people, sees new things, goes through something new. I mean just in my life time I lived through a millennium, experienced a major terrorist attack, seen the first woman Speaker of the House, the first African American elected president, experienced earthquakes, and gone through two major pandemic flu scares. When you look at all these days, one has to wonder what happened in all the days that don't stand out, how have those days changed you for the better or worse. So when I hear someone ask if there is anything that you would change about your life, I say no, because even though there are somethings that I might prefer, I like where I am now for the most part and that's all that one can hope for in their life.

I Could Have Avoided All That Trouble If Only I'd Remembered.....

I could have avoided all that trouble if only I'd remembered to go to the store earlier. It was the day before Thanksgiving and I was on my way to my Grandmother's house for a family get together. I was talking to my sister on the phone when she asked me if I had remembered to pick up the stuffing and other stuff that was on a list for me to purchase for the supper. Somebody else had picked up the turkey, but it was my responsibility to get all the fixins' for the meal. Well I had totally forgotten about that small fact. The only option at that point was to go to the store and try to scrape up the last of the dressing and instant potatoes that I could find. As I walk into the Foodland, it seems irry quiet at first, then I see them. All the moms and dads of the town, cascading down the aisles to get the last bit of rolls or gravy that they had forgotten, totally unconcerned with the casualties their squeaky carts created along the way. This was just going to be more fun then a barrel of monkeys.

I Felt It Everytime You Prayed For Me

I love my mother and my sister, and my friends all very much. There’s no question about that. But I’m not always the best person in the world at showing it. I just wanted to take this chance to make sure that they all know that I do realize how much patience you have with me every day. You are always there for me when I need you and you are always giving me insight when I have absolutely none of my own. Even though we have had our ups and downs, you have always been there at the end of the day, and more often than not, that fact alone has surprised me more than any other fact. When I’ve been sick, when I’ve been broken, when I’ve been tired, when I’ve been lost, when I’ve been careless, when I’ve been confused, when I’ve been hurtful; I felt it every time you prayed for me. Thank you.

I Did Not Just Do That!

So I'm at Kroger getting some gas for the weekend, right, nothing to amazing about that. I forgot to get my license for the clerk to look at for my check that I had written, so I had to go back to my car to get it out of my purse. I had my keys, purse, wallet, checkbook, register, and pen all in my hands when I finally dug my ID our of my purse. So when I had found what I was looking for, I threw the rest of the stuff down on the passenger seat. What I hadn't thought about was the fact that I had also thrown down my keys and my only other spare was in the purse, whih I had also thrown down into the seat. This fact occured to my just as I say the door close. What a lovely evening in forty-five degree wind-chill waiting on my wonderful mother to come save me. Ughhh!!

Before I Die

Have you ever thought about what you wanted to do before you die? A lot has happened in the past few weeks that brings this topic to the forefront of the mind. I was thinking about it the other day and desided that I was going to start making a list of things that I want to acomplish before I die and here are a few of them:

1. Make it to College
2. See the Grand Canyon
3. Have a full and totally random conversation with a total stranger
4. Tell someone what I really think about them
5. See the New York skyline
6. Start a food fight
7. Make it to the top of the Statue of Liberty
8. Send a message in a bottle
9. Create a full family tree
10. See a lunar eclipse

I Just Wanna Sit Here For A While

People are always going to embarrass themselves, that's just the way life goes. Most of the time you just want to shrink into nothing and act like nothing ever happened. But sometimes when something just completely and utterly humiliating happens, the only thing that you can do is just sit there and let it sink in. When you think about it it's kind of funny, because most of the time when we want to just run away from something we did, it's no big deal. The moments that are really embarrassing are the ones that we can't even believe happened. Like when you drop a tray in the middle of the lunch room when it just happens to be dead silent, or when a group of friends are helping someone move and all the sudden the wrong box opens spilling a dreaded secret all over the floor for all to see. Those are the moments that one would think that they would want to disappear, but end up just standing there in shock instead. It's at these times that you just want to sit there for a while.

Snowflakes

When I was a child I would love winter, when I could play outside in the snow for hours without ever getting cold. I could make three snowmen in an hour easy. (Mostly because the first two would be too big for me to put together, but still!) Now I dread winter, with all the ice and sleet. I just don't find it fun to have to go outside in the cold wind and rain to build a snowman that is just going to slowly melt in the cloudy sunshine. I guess that means that I have finally had to grow up, and that's kind of sad to me, that I don't find it fun or meaningful to do something that won't last. I miss not even thinking twice about makeing that lopsided figure of winter, just because that was where the fun was, not in looking at the finished project. Sometimes thinking about back then makes me think that in more ways then one, six year old me was smarter then sixteen year old me.

Running in Place

Everyone is always talking about the future, what you need to do to get in to a good college, so that you can get a good job, so that you can have a good life. But no one ever tells you early on that you need to think about what it is that you want your LIFE to be about. I mean everyone and anyone will ask a little kid what they want to be when they grow up, but how often do they ask a 12 year old. If you are between the ages of eight and fifteen, no one really takes the time to care what you want for a career. So when somethings out of sight it's out of mind, it's basically like running in place. And now, when you are so close to having to pick a path that you will have to follow, and pay for, and live with, it's kind of hard to think of something that will really interest you out side of the normal doctor or teacher kind of thing. So I don't know what I want my life's work to be yet, but I do know that I want it to be something that is challenging that that will help people on a basic level.

Roller Coaster of Life

One day you can be perfectly fine and then all the sudden, out of no where, you wake up bored and exhausted with your life. It's not even that anything has happend to bring you down, it's the fact that nothing has happend. Nothing to keep you interested in your own life. It's at those times that you have to make yourself get up and out of bed to find something that will excite you tomorrow. I think the reason that this is so hard for people to do is because it is hard to get out of one's comfort zone and try to find something new. But, when one finally gains that courage, it makes everything else in their life all that more important to them and gives them more energy to roll out of bed and start the day.

The Real You

That one person in life that has always been there,
Always able to tell anything;
Not that you tell; the fact that you can.
Never dreaming that you could lose them;
That day comes, you lose them,
Knowing you will never have that;
Honesty, trust, understanding with anyone else
Better if you’d never known that kind of trust existed.
Just happy you had the chance to let someone really know you.

The Path We Roam

Morning dew drops reflect light as we run
Sun barely showing over the horizon;
Only enough to wake us up
The air cool; we are off to the forest
Our place, where we are free to let our imagination run wild,
For hours, uninterrupted
Through the tall, wet grass we walk;
Trees close in;
The sun slowly disappears behind leaves
The path is littered; debris from months passed;
Sunlight speckles the ground we walk
It is a different world in this light;
Greens greener, trees taller, the real world forever away;
Birds slowly start to wake and sing to our arrival
Sunlight rises above morning mists;
We find secret treasures

Left behind by those who came before us;
An old basketball with faded lines;
Dusty old bottles beautiful in creek water;
Old marbles of all colors;
Sunlight slowly rises over the canopy;
A discovery of blackberry bushes leave us covered black and blue
The same path brought us here,
The same takes us home;
Light dripping through the same leafs,
Same trees,
Same vines,
Same thorns;
Yet all is different; changed in some way,
By only our presence,
So home we run.