What I Want.... Thats a Question

I think what I want is to know what exactly what I want. I'm tired of everytime someone asks me what is that I want to do in life, my answer is 'I don't know'. At the end of this year if everything goes exactly as planned, I will be a certified nurses assistant and i will have spent maybe fifty dollars between all the classes. I love the fact that I have the chance to say this and know that there is a really high probablity that everything will work out as planned; i just don't know if it's what I want. :/ Who knows what I'll do with my life, maybe I'll just take a year or two and join the Peace Corps; who knows at all any more.

Senior Year

Summers over and schools back... I guess that's a good thing in a way. This summer I spent with friends, at work, traveling and just sitting around or sleeping. All and all it was great.

So when people ask me how my summer vacation was I can say:

I made a new friend
I saw the ocean for the first time
I went to a baby shower
I laughed
I had fun
I went to Evansville
I shopped
I talked
I walked
I swam
I watched fire works
I had a great time.... I just wish that it didn't have to be over just yet.

Senior year here we come, fresh out of the sun.

It's Complicated

If you must know life is too complicated to understand what is coming next, to complicated to ever be prepared. Far to complicated to ever have any idea of right and wrong. Much to complicated to get a grip on any kind of reality beyond this moment. More complicated then a map of a foreign city missing a compass and a scale. Eons more complicated then any trivial act of reading and understanding every word of the United States Constitution or the original Old Testament. Life is uber more complicated then anything that one may encounter in daily life. So, why don't we just sit back and tell each other about it.

Yield Right Of Way

I've been guilty of not letting go of a moment, a memory when I am nothing but right. Moments when time would have been better spent gracefully forgetting the discussion entirely and moving on with the day. Sometimes people have to give up the fight that they know is true and right for something bigger, another person's feelings. This acknowledgement of another individual shows a level of caring that means way more than any justification one could recieve from being right. Sometimes the only way to truely show that you care for someone other than yourself is to yeild the right of way.

Ohhh Mother

I came home after work on Sunday night and my mom was watching the news and getting ready for bed, she looked like she was excited and like she had news to tell but was deciding whether or not to say it out loud. She finally started to tell me that she had nominated me for some 'student of the week' thing on the Fox 7 news channel and that I had actually won. I busted out laughing and then she went on to say that it had been on the news earlier in the day and she hadn't been able to see it. "Somebody should have banged on the house!" is what she had to say about it.

What Would The World Be

If there was nothing to fear?

If every person in the world smiled together for just one minute?

If people slept for just one hour more everyday?

If there were more chances to see the sun set and rise?

If we could all just go?

If we could see the wonders and find our own?

If everyone knew their 'God' on a personal level?

If what we believed when we were young could still be true?

If summer lasted forever?

If people never wanted to lie?

If we had been raised differently?

If life had taught us differently?

What would the world be????

All the preparation you've done will finally pay off.

All the books that we would have loved,

All the homework that never really got done,

All the papers that could have been better,

All the hours that could be spent elsewhere,

All the laughs that marked everyday,

All the games that we loved to play,

All the times that we won't remember,

All the friends and enemies,

All the teachers of all the classes,

All the days that turned into nights,

All the first and last days,

All the tests that were prayed over,

All the people that we didn't really know,

All the choices that we live through,

All the fun we let ourselves have,

All the chances that seemed small,

All the times we lost our voices yelling,

All the little joys we found,

All the realizations we'd like to forget,

All the times we had to be a grown up,

All the seconds that formed leaders,

All the seconds that formed failures,

All the seconds that formed futures,

Are all just memories now,

All just part of the times before,

All part of the life before graduation,

All part of the preparation.

Love!

I didn't write this, but when I read it I wish I had:

Remember when you thought boys had cooties...when friends were new, dreams were un-shattered and worries few...when recess was too short and life was too long...decisions came easily without need to belong...when storks delivered the babies and passions weren't so strong...friendships were un-broken...right was right, and wrong was wrong...when bad things didn't happen...when only skinned knees brought tears and the night light in it's socket quieted all our fears...when farewell meant just for summer and real friends didn't part...the fun went on forever and never left a broken heart.

Twilight Zone

My weekend started out fine, I went to work on Friday and Saturday. I got off at 9 Saturday and went home. I took a shower and then the phone rang, it was my sister's friend's mom called to see if Rachel and my sister had gotten home OK. Here's the ketch, they weren't supposed to be at my house they were supposed to be at Rachel's house, or at least that was the other part of the lie. So at 10 o'clock at night I was on my way into town to meet up with my best friend Chelsea and Sydney and their friend Joey so that we could find them. We went to Legion park, English park, the parking garage, Jack C. Fisher, Malco, Fogel, the Plaza, anywhere and everywhere that any of us had ever been with anyone or had gone to hang out with people. All the time rain is coming down and phones are ringing and going dead. Then at 12 o'clock the cops get called and two state troopers get called out to the house to try and find the two delinquents. For two hours straight the men are going through my sister's cell phone, which she left at home, and calling everyone; waking them up at what is going on 2 am and asking if they had seen her. Well after all that, we finally find the two and again me and Chelsea have to go back to Legion to meet the girls because they refuse to tell the police where they have been. So we get there and have to wait for another hour because someone has finally come clean and told them everything. We all finally get home at 4 am and go to bed and everyone is mad, upset, and exhausted. Chelsea, Mom, and I wake up the next morning around 2. My sister is still sleeping off the night before in bed, and Chelsea and I are starving because we haven't eaten since 7:30 the day before.
So Chelsea and I decide to go into town and get something to eat before I have to be at work later in the day. Chelsea follows me into town in her car and I drive my SUV. We get to the intersection of HWY 56 and 81 right in front of Golfland and guess what, I wreck. Yep, that's right, after everything that had happened that night, and all the miles that I had driven, God picks that moment to show us how bad things really could be, I hope he finds it hilarious. So since all our phones were completely dead from the night before we had to flag people down, one can imagine how well that went. One car of four people waved right back at me and kept right on driving! After we finally did get someone to stop who had a phone we had to call yet another police officer and wait, in the rain, on the side of the rode, with people staring.
So need less to say I did not go into work on Sunday and after we finally did get my car out from under the fence, we went to McDonalds to get food, because we still had not eaten. I walked into Chelsea's house and went towards the kitchen to throw away my drink. I made not even two steps in before I was in the air then on the floor. It was such a slap in the face after everything that had happened all I could think to do was laugh, and I did laugh, I laughed and I cried and I laughed more. Then I remembered that my pants were probably going to be soaked from my coke and I started to look up and see what the damage was. It was standing up, perfectly straight in the air as if God himself had placed it there to say it was all in good fun! So, naturally, I started laughing again.

Hugs and Kisses

Everyone loves Herseys, its just something that is almost universal. But for the longest time I thought that they were all the same, a kiss is a kiss is a kiss. It took me years to find that my favorite kind of kiss was never even a kiss at all. It was a hug! Its weird how one can go through life never finding out such vital information.

Shelly the Sea Horse

I have this little red bracelet that is very, very cute. Because, you see, when you take off the bracelet it goes turns into something totally different. Do you want to guess what it turns into? A sea horse!

Its funny how something can look one way in one situation and once its put into a new situation one might not even recognize what it was to begin with. I think that people are a lot like that too. We go from one personality at school, at work, with friends, to a brand new one at home. We censor words and actions, and are always thinking about how our actions can be taken the wrong way be others. Really one could say that no one will ever know the real person behind all the roles we play, many times I have wondered if we really even know ourselves after we take off all the roles at the end of the day. Everyone tries to tell people what they want to hear and be the person that is easy to work with, but sometimes we just don't feel like it. So for right now, at this moment, I think that I will bounce into my new shape, and become my own sea horse, or maybe I'd rather be a gold fish. :)

How to Have a Perfect Day

What You Need:

1. Coloring Books

2. Crayons

3. Blankets

4. Music

5. Best friend

Directions:

1. Climb through bedroom window onto roof above dining room

2. Spread blanket and layout pillows
3. Turn on music and relax

4. When boredom sets in reach for coloring books and enjoy

Turkey Turkey Turkey

So what do you say when you see a turkey crossing the road? And what do you say when the turkey can't decide which way to run? Well, I say "Ahhhh," as we go down the hill and the turkey gets closer and closer, but apparently some people are forced into gobbling the word over and over; "Turkey, turkey, turkey!!!" as wings are flapping and feathers are flying and the turkey is hovering over the windshield and we zoom under it at 45 miles an hour.

Favorite Quotes

1. Never say, "oops." Always say, "Ah, interesting." ~Author Unknown
2. The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
-Dudley Moore
3. The difference between adults and children is that adults don't ask questions.
-American Proverb
4. You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
5. See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little. ~Pope John XXIII
6. Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning? ~Coleman Cox
7. Always when judging Who people are, Remember to footnote The words "So far."
~Robert Brault
8. Toss your dashed hopes not into a trash bin but into a drawer where you are likely to rummage some bright morning. ~Robert Brault
9. Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself. ~Elbert Hubbard
10. Face what you think you believe and you will be surprised. ~William Hale White

Could I Go To Jail for That

Everyone has those moments where they just want to hit someone for being stupid. Not just for asking a stupid question, because it's always better to ask than not know, but for being to stupid not to do something stupid. I understand that different people have different ideas about what stupid is, but when it comes down to it, there are just some thoughts that should not be thought.

Childhood Questions

If I get worms will I have to eat dog food? If I stand really still can I feel the Earth turn? What do clouds feel like? If I kept getting higher, could I swing all the way back around? Who says 2+2=4? If you don't have the money, why don't you write a check? Can we keep her, please??? What's wrong? Why not?

Journey

Moveing through the world with hopes and dreams of the house and the field. Walking around ready to start life, ready to get going and get out of here. Tired of standing still and seeing everything slowly come together. I'm just ready for it to fall together and wave goodbye out of the window as a drive away from my past and towards the future. Ready for new stories, different dramas, exciting places, and a journey worth making.

Where I'm From

I've come to realize just what it is about this town that I love compared to so many other places int he world...
1. The Magic Words- because Please Thanks do make a difference
2. The approach- because why be rude
3. The pace- because why rush
4. The fact that there is nothing to do sometimes- because we all need a day to be bored to see what we miss when we're swamped
5. The country- because who wouldn't love it.

Rockin' Chair

The place where Grandma rocked her babies to sleep every night, and where she still swears is the only place that would stop the tears. Where we sat wide eyed and amazed as we learned about our past through the lives of those who came before us. Where sat in the heat of the summer nights and just watched the lighting bugs flicker in the evening light. Where we all out ran to in every game of tag. Where we found our way through the maze of family during every holiday, celebration, morning, or gathering. The country porch with the rocker is always as steady as the cool, quiet, calm summer rain.

Short Story--- Assignment

All of the sudden I was trapped! Trapped in a dark and cool place I had never been before, with only a small sliver of old, dusty light streaming through a tiny crack under the door. As I franticly looked for an escape route to get out of this prison, a sound came from the other side of the door. The rusty knob rattled and twisted, the door flew open. In stepped the tall, slinky man with a broad chin and dark hair from earlier that day in the park, the man that had been talking to himself next to the swings all morning. He had a blank face, but his eyes seemed to dance with worry, regret, and pain. As my eyes painfully adjusted to the light, I saw what looked like a baseball bat coming down from the heavens on a direct path towards my head.
With a head ache stronger than any that I can recall, I awoke to the sound of water, dripping slowly and steadily from somewhere across the silent room. As I turned my head slowly from side to side, feeling the sharp pains in the back of my neck, I saw that I was in a different room then before. This room was surrounded by glass mirrors for walls, and as I looked into the one in front of me, I was dragged to a world I hadn’t been to in many years.
I saw flowers growing by a pond as I jumped into the clear water in the heat of summer, then just as quickly, I was on the porch of my Grandmother in late summer watching the lightning bugs flitter by. I hadn’t had even enough time to catch one before I was on to my next childhood memory of climbing the apple trees in the orchard. I was running from the bees in the meadow; I was at home during a thunderstorm waiting for the rain to let up; baking cookies with mother; running through the school yard; swinging high, feeling the breeze against my face. I saw myself swaying in the trees; running with friends that I know longer think of, but had once been my dearest companions; I saw the life that I had so loved and the life that I had turned my back on. Next was adolescents and high school, with the pictures of times spent hanging out with friends, staying late at all the parties, memories of first dates and heart breaks, having way too much stuff, playing the music way too loud, ditching almost every class, and pushing all the cars to their limits every night. I watched my life change through the years and saw every mistake, missed opportunity, as well as every great decision with every God given blessing I had never given a moment’s notice to. Every last memory and experience that had made me, me in life, all flashing before my eyes in one long movie reel. And then, just as spontaneous and unexpected as it had started, it was over, and I was back in the room of glass mirrors with the tall, slinky man with the broad chin and dark hair.
He sat quietly in his chair and just looked at me. When I said nothing, he rose and started to walk towards me. Slowly and steadily he raised his hand and placed it on the open wound that he had caused with is baseball bat, and waited.

Of Mice and Men

I think the movie's ending was a whole lot colder and impersonal then the books ending. The way that I read the ending to the story was that George hesitated a lot more before he actually killed Lennie, and the movie really didn't drag it out as much. When the movie started the thing that I thought was the biggest difference was the way that Lennie looked. I had pictured him about three inches taller and with a full head of hair, George on the other hand, looked almost exactly like I had pictured him. I think that one of the parts that was left out that was one of the most important was the part where Lennie went in to Crooks' room and Candy and Curley's wife came in together. This was one of the most important parts in the book that helped to show Curley's wife's true colors and really set the readers mood towards her before she died.

Personal Characterization--- Assignment

A calm, quiet room with music playing softly in the background. Light streams in through the many small windows and there is a nice, calm, country breeze that is blowing through the few that are open. The few cars that go by are the only other sounds that pierce the quiet. The bed that is half-made half way a mess, is in the corner with a small shelf of old worn books at its foot. The pillows on the bed are stacked half-way to the ceiling. The room is a calm and quiet sanctuary. A place that is always there when the world gets to be too much to handle. The place that puts one back where they need to be mentally, the place for work, fun, and realization. The room says that even when the rest of the world is out of control, one still has one place that one can hide away in. The books and music are one's way her way to escape into a different life while she waits for the hard times to pass on by. These worlds and this room, in the middle of nowhere, help her to realize the truth about what matters and help to keep her centered and sane for the rest of the world.

Women In Society

I think that it's funny how women in so many societies are typically thought of as the lesser sex, the unimportant, and yet they are expected to do so many things that shape the rest of the world's future. They are expected to take care of the home and everyone in it, expected to make each day and schedual to run smoothly. Children are typically raised by the inferer women of the home, which is very irronic if one was to really think about it. A person who is too incompetent to walk down the street alone is perfectly able to raise the next potential president or world power. Tradition is a wonderful thing and change can be very scarry, but I think that with everyday women are gaining a better understanding of what they are capable of and of what wonderful things they would like to do with their lives.

Good to Hear

Somethings just never loose their magic when you hear them...
the sound of rain early on a Sunday morrning that makes you want to go right back to sleep,
a baby sleeping,
the wind blowing through an open car window,
laughter,
the sound of the creek,
bacon on the stove (lol).

I Know Someone Who...

I know someone who can make me smile.

I know someone who is kind.

I know someone who cares deeply for me.

I know someone who is very fun to hang out with.

I know someone who is extremely smart.

I know someone who has all ways been able to make me laugh.

I know someone who has more common sense than myself.

I know someone who can fix anything.

I know someone who would do a favor for me anytime.

I know someone who is ignorant.

I know someone who is awesome.

I know someone who expects more from me.

I know someone who is always giving.
I know someone who is thoughtful.

I know someone who has no concept of the word empathy.

I know someone who has graduated from college.

I know someone who has dropped out of high school.

I know someone who is pregnant.

I know someone who is married.

I know someone who is friendly.

I know someone who is angry.

I know someone who has accomplished their goal in life.

The Gift of Self

We give and we give because that is what we do.
We give and we give because it is supposed to feel good.
We give and we give because everything is OK.
We give and we give because they will repay the favor.
We give and we give because it's a wonderful life.
We give and we give because we feel their pain,
or because we're just happy that it's not us feeling the pain.

Just Plain Selfish

A family friend has been having some health issues lately so I agreed to take her daughter to school in the morrnings while I was on my way to school. I was doing this as a favor becuase it really was no big deal and I was glad to be able to help out. Well this morrning as I am dropping her off I pulled a head a little and waited to make she that she got in the front door, just in case you know.
Then my little sister, whom I have basically raised myself and am still having to haul her around to and from school, says that I don't have to worrry about that becuase she'll be fine. Now I don't think that you're getting the tone she said it with, imagine just the most disrespectful, ungreatful tone that you have every used and then imagine pointed in the direction of a five year old. Yea.
At this point in my life I'm just sick of her little attitude, so I just tell her that it's not her kid to say that about. And you know what that little brat had to say about that, "Well I have to watch her like 24/7 because her mom can't so I might as well be her mother." I almost went off on that little whore. I mean I have had to this crap for her her ENTIRE life and not complained once because it was and still is what needed to be done, simple as that. Then when she does finally 'move out' I'm still stuck with all the crap she gets herself into, and then she has the gaul, the nerve, to say something about a five year old whose mother has been incapacitated for not even a month!!!
Ohhh... it took eveything I had to hold myself back from slaping her across the face and telling her to walk the rest of the way. What a little bitch.

Dead Poet Society

Poetry itself is something that is meant to be read for fun and relaxation. To be thought about, not taught about. Poetry helps to show a person how to think and act for themselves. Life itself is amazing in many different ways and Dead Poet's Society tried to live life to the fullest and enjoy every minute of it. I think that that has to be my favorite thing about the movie, as the year went by, one could see how they were changing and coming into their own. Everyone has that one person in their life that opens their eyes and shows them something that has been right in front of their faces for their entire lives, that they just haven't noticed. Mr. Ketting was that for these guys in the class and I think that it was great that they were able to see how important it was to attack life so early in life. Even if it was just a movie.

It All Depends Man

When one has a lot of different things going on, one has to prioritize, everyone knows that. So when something comes up that could change your plans for better or for worse and a person has to choose wither or not they will change their plans it can be a stressful situation. A friend of mine was reading me some of her text messages the other day and she was having a conversation with a guy that wanted to hang out. The only problem was that she already had plans set up to hang out with another friend and she didn't know if they still were or not. The way she answered him made me laugh out loud, "It all depends man." Now I don't know if it was the way she read the text to me, or the fact that she had told him that because she was trying to say that she just didn't know so stop bothering me about it in a polite way or what, but it was hilarious. A simple sentence that can say so much. It all depends man.

Can't Wait For...

Hanging out
Staying out
Swimming
Traveling
Driving
Vacationing
Soaking in the sun
Blaring music
Being lazy
Getting excited
Going to the drive in
Watching races
Eating way too much junk food
Letting the day go where ever
Watching clouds go by
Coloring books on hot days
Babysitting
Working
Making new friends
Partying
Bonfires

Summer

The Way To Feel About Life

happiness, sadness, anger, joy, pain, frustration, humor, contentment, friendly, importance, ignorance, pity, foolishness, wealth, regret, love, hatred, worth, young, old, smart, dumb, beautiful, ugly, forgetful, aware, independence, dependability, inability, jealousy, yearning, shy, outgoing, infatuation, zealous, courageous, lustful, capable, eager, bored, dejected, aggravated, irritable, disgusted, at-ease, focused, centered, tender, appreciated, pleased, hopeful, alert, attracted, warm, daring, interested, abandoned, dejection, shock, awe, torn, greed, gluttony, dishonesty, sloth, pride, superiority, ego, serenity, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, faith, apathy, puzzled, free, satisfied, thankful, frisky, optimistic, clever, quick, blessed, nosy, brave, bold, daring, disappointed, hesitant..........


ALIVE

Favorite Place

A favorite place is a quiet place, a place of blank thought. My favorite place to be is on a simple everyday swing at the park, on a relaxing summer's night. It is a calm place where you can just watch the world go by. The wind breezes by your face and ears as a go higher and higher with the moon and stars poking in and out of the clouds whisking by. My favorite place is a place where I can be alone in a sea of people who are perfectly fine going on with their own lives and acting like they can't see you doing the exact same thing. Where one can learn countless life lessons in the experienced faces of guilty people. My favorite place is with a group of friends who know just what one may need without having to explain. Where one can just sit and laugh until their stomach hurts and they are whipping the tears from their eyes. These are my favorite places, everyone unique and loved, because each one has something that I need and each one keeps me sane.

My Mother's Daughter

My Mother's daughter is someone we all know well

She is a child that never lies
She is a strong individual who never wavers

My Mother's daughter is an honest person

She is a strong individual

Who always does as her mother would want her

My Mother's daughter is a hard worker

She is a person who knows right from wrong

She is a person who would give anything for family

My Mother's daughter would never do something stupid

She is a person who never knowingly lets herself be venerable

She is an individual who always eats her greens

My Mother's daughter is a good girl

She is a person who has never disobeyed or done wrong

She is a smart girl that never lets her emotions get the best of her

If only I could be my Mother's daughter...

Kid Rules

1. God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt
2. Always take advantage of the ‘jinks’ opportunity if given
3. It is a truely heartbreaking to break a crayon while coloring
4. Smelly stickers are always better than regular
5. Bubbles never lose their cool
6. Snow is awesome!
7. Friendship doesn’t take weeks or months to form; it simply takes a recess
8. Secrets are meant to be shared
9. Coloring inside the lines is optional
10. Love is unconditional and without reason- You’re my friend, I care for you, duh.

If only things could be that simple for them forever.

Goodbyes

People leave home every day with plans to return.
We say goodbye and walk away as if its nothing.
When really we are leaving the cold hard past behind.
The past that made us, the past that broke us,

The past that will always be apart of us.

Life is hard, that’s a fact, and we all know that.
With each goodbye we are moving forward,
Leaving some loves behind.
As we grow we come to know,
That what we are is what we do,
And so we say goodbye.
Maybe I'll be back someday;
Maybe I'll find something new.

So I've Learned to NEVER Ask A Guy Something When A Game Is In Over Time

At work last night I was training for manager a week early because the guy who was supposed to train me broke his foot and couldn't walk more then two minutes at a time. So while he was sitting down, I was doing everything that he would normally do while he sat in his chair watching. Everything was fine at first, a little chaotic at first, but fine; then the Kentucky game came on. As I was counting the drawer, I had a question, I started to ask him when I realized that I should probably wait for a commercial. But once he saw the hesitation, he tried to focus and answer the question. After he sort of halfway, guy watching a game kinda of answered, I thought I was good and went on about counting. After about thirty minutes, recounting twice, and an overtime, he finally came over and counted the drawer again. Turns out what was wrong was that I had added something in that had already been counted, which just happened to be the exact question I asked him in the first place.

I Love Snow Days.....

So a friend and I were out in Henderson on Monday after a fairly large snow fall. The reasons that we decided to make the trip were a mixture of boredom, cabin fever, and just the chance at driving around in snow. After we get within a mile of our destination, we notice that a truck is blocking the rest of the way. As any normal person would, we figured that this meant that the rest of the road was blocked, so we decided to back up to the nearest drive way and turn around. Well as we backed up everything was fine, no ice or any bumbs; just a slow, smooth ride. When we finally got to a drive way and which we would have been able to back into, my friend who was driving, started to turn the wheel. As I watched her back up I started to think that she wasn't really turning sharp enough, then I started to tell her to turn.
Next we were suck, and I was pushing.

Snow Days

Snow days are great, everyone knows that. But I personally, am ready for the hot steam of summer to show itself. I am ready for swimming, staying out late, lighting fireworks, laughing, and just laying around complaining about the insistent heat. So why snow days make me happy during that small window of time between sitting up in bed to see the TV, and falling back into the pillow, it still can’t beat the wonders of summer. I guess it’s just another way in which we are all getting older.

Unforgivable

Is there really anything that is just unforgivable? There are always things that are just plain wrong, but how many things can you count that one could never defend no matter how much you tried? There probably aren’t many things that one can think of that are this bad. When it comes to acts of passion or desperation, one might be able to see why the acts were committed. Addiction, pain, anger, and revenge are very powerful emotions that everyone experiences throughout their life. Each of these emotions causes one to lose at least a little control over themselves and most people don’t even realize it until it is too late. I guess the thing that everyone hopes is that we exhaust ourselves of energy before we have time to follow through with any of the crazy and damaging actions that often comes from these emotions.

Personal Belief Vs. Reality

Who's really in control of what you do? Who dictates what one thinks or believes. One's feelings toward or against something is personal and intimate. But the environment of a person also dictates a lot. The environment changes so humans have to change with it, including their beliefs. So as one goes through life they are constantly in a battle of personal belief vs. reality. Reality itself can be a dark place with lots of unhappy facts that one can't change, so maybe that's why we hold beliefs so close to our heart.

Blogging

I have looked over some of my blogs for the past few months and have come to realize that the majority them consist of nothing but a list of thoughts or feelings. I think this is because I feel that if someone is given a list of information or facts in an organized way, they will be able to draw the conclusion that they feel is correct. Which I think saves the most time for everybody because I don't have to write very much, the reader doesn't have to read much, and everyone saves a lot of valuable time.

My Mom Hit My Car

My mom was taking my sister to the courthouse so that she could take the permit test. On this particular day I didn't have to go to work so I rode the bus. As mom was backing out of the drive way, she took it for granted that my car wouldn't be there and, well, you can imagine the rest. The accident really wasn't that bad, it just wasn't exactly funny either.

Wild Things

Safety and security are essential. Stability and consistency are a must. But ever once in a while, one must let themselves go where they may, and enjoy every second of it. This freedom and utter recklessness helps one to be grateful for the scheduled chaos that makes up their everyday life.

I think that the reason that people have bucket lists is because everyone is always so cought up in what they have to do not always what they might want to do. I think that people need to schedual one day a week where there is no schedual, where they just go with the flow. It is days like that that help put everything else into perspective and help one to realize just how much of a wonderful life they truely do have. Its alwasy good to take a trip to where the wild things are.

Ice Storm

So it's been an entire year since the Ice Storm hit last January, and I am not one of the people who is hoping for a second one. I hated every second of that stupid winter phenomena. We were out of power for ten days, with trees coming down around us, just getting tired of seeing each other! So as of this moment, I personally can't wait for summer sun and fun to get here.

Bad Humor

Everyone likes to laugh and everyone likes to make others laugh, but how many times has that laughter come from someone else's pain? It's kind of funny how people in general seem to have the most fun when there is some to laugh at, whether it be a close friend or a bitter enemy. When one looks at comedies on T.V. they are constantly reminded of this, just look at "The Three Stooges."

The Wedding Dress

So a friend of mine is engaged and this weekend a couple of us girls all went and helped her try on dresses. It was kind of weird mix of happiness, excitement, and sadness. I guess the main reason we all were sad was the fact that this kind of made it officail that we were all growing up and that soon we would all be starting a new life on our own wether we liked it or not, and it kinda sucks.

Secrets

People love to say that secrets don't make friends until they're the ones who are being told or telling the secret. But how many times have a secret kept saved a friendship or work relationship? Sometimes a secret is something minor and other times it is something huge that one wishes they could just forget ever even happened.

Yet somehow, no matter how big the secret, it always ends up being told. Is it the guilt or just the hope that one might be told, "it's not that bad," even when one knows it is.

It Takes Courage

So I’m hanging out with one of my friends and her Mom sends her a text that says, “have you seen my Facebook status?” When she gets this message I’m the one who’s holding the phone and read it out loud to her. The next thing that I see is her leaping over me like a track star at the Olympics. Then she is sprinting down the hall in a massive whirlwind towards her laptop that is turned on sitting on the floor. It looks like it’s going to be an easy victory, but there’s a hidden obstacle, the fan cord. So my friend’s sister and I were treated to a front row of my friend sliding cheek first across the carpet. And all this was because my friend’s fiancé hadn’t told his mother that they are getting “married”, and her mother has a big mouth.

The Best Day

As he walks down the beach path,

the man thinks of what his day has been like.

His best day,

spent with the ones he loved.

Forgetting to sleep in on his day off,

soaking up every second of the day.

His best day,
spent just walking from point to point.

Rememboring that a quiet day,

is the best kind of day for the soul.

His best day,

spent loving God for all His glory.

Forgetting the past,

and all the pain and happiness it holds.

His best day,

is also his last day.

Questions for English

1. What power, if any rules us?
When we wake up in the morning what's the first thing that we do? Its a question that most of us don't even really have to think about. What is it about that moment that starts off one's day that demand one to do on specific thing? Is it that it is what we have always done, or is it that whatever the action is starts the day off on the right foot? People are always using the expression "got up on the wrong side of the bed", but what if its true? One decision, made just at the right time, can change the course of a lifetime. So I think that when one feels a real need to do something, whether it be an almighty power or just a simple habit, one should try to do what they need to.
2. How much control do we have over ourselves?
People often feel, I think, that when they let things go where they may, that things will end up unravelling and getting more complicated then they were at the beginning. Which I can understand on some levels, but for me, I think that the best days of my life have when plans have been ruined and I ended up giving up on trying to fix everything, and let the day take me where it may. When I look back on those days, that was when I was most at peace with the world and I was the most happy. So what I think I have come to love the most about control, is losing it every once in a while!
3. Do we even really know ourselves?
I know my favorite color is blue. I know that I am 17 years old. I know that I love my family and that that is the most important thing for me. I know that I am a hard worker.... I could go on like that for days. Yea, I would like to think that I know myself better then most. But if you were to ask me what it is that I want for my the rest of my life, the only thing that I could tell you without a moments hesitation is a family full of happiness. I know what my beliefs and ideals are, but I also realize that they can change at any moment based on what I live through. So, what I know about myself is that what I know can change at any time.

Scary Story

Chelsea, Margie, and I are walking through the field of tobacco nearly as tall as us. The moon peeks in and out from behind the clouds as the wind breezes by our faces. I can't remember how we ended up here, walking through this field. I just know we are, and the farther we go, the darker it gets. I hear a twig snap and I freeze. Its at this point that I am reminded that I'm the one who's leading everybody, as Margie's forced to run into me as Chelsea bumps into her. Now we are all falling to the ground hitting and screaming at each other. When we realize what we all just did, its impossible to stop the laughter. So we pick ourselves up and start walking through the dark, damp night again. About five minutes goes by when I realize that my footsteps are the only ones I'm hearing. I freeze praying that someone runs into me, when nothing happens, I turn around see nothing but the dark, empty house off in the distance.

Heck Yes!!!

So I'm at work rapping peppers for orders and my manager comes over and starts helping me out. She starts talking about a meeting that all of the managers had that morning and what they had talked about. She started telling me that all of the other managers had said good things about how hard I work and other things like that. After she finished talking about that she said that everyone agreed on me starting training for manager!! Heck Yes! The only thing that I would have to do first was train on cook first. So I should be managing in like two months!!!!1

New Years Resolutions

This year I didn't make a New Year's resolution. I think the reason I didn't make one is because I feel like the best goal I could make for these year is to just take each day for what it is and try to make the best of it. This New Year's I was working and after that I just went home and went to sleep. This year was the first year that no matter how hard I thought about it, I just couldn't see a point in going out or staying up late, it just really didn't appeal all that much to me. I guess I'm just growing up, but it sucks.